Hat trick

Oft worn by Samantha Ronson, most likely as part of a cunning ploy to detract from her permanent 'look at me I'm a grumpy butch lesbian' expression, the Trilby has been around for a while now. Like all things that were good when nobody else was doing it, the look is set to peak this summer as every brand with an accessories line adds one to their collection. I quite like the classic version at just €4 from Penney's, but if you feel like splashing the cash on a fancy version, then be my fancy guest.

If you're male with the underdeveloped, Earthworm Jim head of Blake 'Incarcerated' Fielder Civil, then it's probably best to sit this one out. The sight of him in a newspaper makes me want to fly to London and kick him in the face.

Main: Trilby, €27, Topman

Below:
Straw X 2 - Around €10, New Look
St. George by Duffer: €39, Debenhams



Below: Straw Trilby - €4, Penney's
Black Trilby, €15, Next

Head in the sand?

If you'd rather not read about how fucked the world is, www.recessionblocker.com could be the search engine for you. Surf your happy little heart out, blissfully unperturbed by scary stories about job losses, banks and the economy. Yay!

Milk? Sugar? Spiritual rebirth?

Cyprus Avenue, Jogging & Adebisi Shank, Friday night


Matt: "There's people giving out free tea and coffee outside the GPO, they tried to give me some..."

SP: "Yeah I saw them, what's that about?

Matt: "Dunno, I think they're newborn Christians?"

SP: "What?"

Matt: "Newborn Christians, like the religion..."

SP: "Born Again Christians?"

Matt: "Yeah..."

I've got love for you, if you were born in The 80's...

I was thinking about this 'The 80's are back!!!' thing that's popping up all over the place so I dug out a few photos to relive what they were like for me. Then I buried them again as quickly as possible.

In case you were wondering, the stylish young lady, front row, second from the left, is not me. I am the tartan mormon with the killer fringe and matching purse, front row, second from the right. Can you handle the hotness?


I love how everyone remembers the 80's differently. For me it was New Kids on the Block, my Walk-Man, high-tops, Orangina, Punky Brewster (I lived in the US), Care Bears, Ninja Turtles, Kool Aid, saying the word 'barf' a lot and wishing my name was Tiffany. For people who weren't 80's kids it was acid wash jeans, court shoes in primary colours, toilet brush perms, bad relationship decisions and shoulder pads. Or patterned drop-waist dresses (support teacher, bottom right) OR an insanely cool leggings, braces and belt combo (April, front row, bottom right)...



For some reason though, every time a magazine do a 'Back to the 1980's' feature it's all about the neon. Sure, there was a bit, especially with that 'work out' look (sloppy t-shirt, leggings, high tops, big hair) my mom was rocking for a while, but there was plenty more to choose from.

I'm usually happy to try a trend, but I've always had a strong aversion to anything 'Jordan' neon. I think a near dangerous obsession with a pair of highlighter-yellow high-tops when I was around nine might be to blame. I remember being horrified when the yellow began to fade and then throwing an all-consuming, slaughterous bitch-fit when my mother decided to throw them out. As my therapist says, they're gone now so it's best to move on.

I'm going to pick and choose this time around, I'm quite drawn to neon accessories as long as they're not hoop earrings worn by a size 20 teenager in a size 8 tracksuit pants. Neon clothing is pushing it. Plus if you're over 16 and actually wear any of this shit it will make you look like a children's party entertainer in the throes of a nervous breakdown.

If my 1980's were really coming back, I'd be cutting up tablecloths in order to craft myself a tartan dress with additional purse (Mr. Pedestrian just pointed out it looks a bit like a sporran - as if being the only Irish kid in the class, armed with a Cork accent that sounded like Klingon wasn't bad enough, they may have thought I was wearing a sporran).

But the 80's aren't really coming back, only the nice bits and a fixation with neon, and this time around you can choose what you want to wear yourself, with little or no input from your mother.




Neon Pink Bird Brooch,£5, Asos.com
Chartreuse Sparrow Necklace,$14, Birdwatching

And a little yellow is cheery...

LOL Hats.

Well this has just clean made my day.
For the love of god, if you own a Boston Terrier, buy a Pink Blossom Dog Hat ($22 from BeanTown Handmade).

Balancing act

Man I've been busy. I have a giant amount of insanely boring and extremely interesting things I have to do. The boring crap is really harshing my buzz, this cheered me up though, a Miss Selfridge LBD in a fabulously 50's cut. Price TBC, but come on, it's a black dress, the good ones are priceless. Look at the cap sleeves on this - wide enough to balance Pamela Anderson's pre-op knockers and cinched at the waist, in case you don't have one.

Head Candy

A very stylish friend of mine starts chemo in a few weeks so thoughts have turned to bald heads and how best to accessorise them. Bald head or no, I love head scarves, I have a giant box full of them, plucked from discount bins, thrift shops, men's clothing stores, designer sales, brought back to me by friends and family from all over the world. They're so chic, very Côte d'Azur, circa 1960. It's all about how you tie them though, the wrong scarf with the wrong knot will take you from Riviera to Romanian gypsy in less than ten seconds.

I like the idea of chemo, a big blast of some seriously deadly stuff that will kill any nasty stuff it comes into contact with. Sure, it can ruin all the years of hard work you've put into your hair, but on the plus side, you won't have to worry about shaving your legs for a while.

Nice 'how-to' on tying head scarves here

Happily, they can be as cheap or as pricey as you like. I love the one below, (J by Jasper Conran, €18.50, Debenhams). The colour is zingy and the material is soft and silky so it won't irritate your skin, whether you have hair or not. A few from my collection are pictured above.

Do be do be do...

Love this!

Going GaGa

I don't think this needs much explanation. Behold, the 'Lady GaGa Pants', winging their way to a River Island near you. Around €10.

Would you?
Could you?

Specs appeal

Ever since I bought my first pair in a senior citizens supply store in Florida, I've been mildly obsessive about giant sunglasses. Not only do they hide a hangover, but they also prevent wrinkles around your eyes and because I smoke, Factor 50 and giant specs are all I have.
I'm happy to experiment with most things, but sunglasses are one thing I refuse to fuck with. The return of small round frames (SS09 Proenza Schouler, Dries Van Noten, Ralph Lauren) puts the fear of god into me. They even manage to look silly on an Olsen. It's happening though, Nasty Gal has clean sold out of their $40 black 'Annie' glasses and we haven't even had an Easter egg yet.
I reckon you need a tiny head to pull these off, so I'm out of luck there, but even with the tiniest Pixie-Geldof head in the world, I have yet to see someone wear these and not look like Nazi scientist.

I'm digging the classic 80s frame that's on the way back for men, main pic, €18, Topman.

On the right from top:
Red Frames - Red Herring, €23.50
Enamel Aviators - Penney's, €3
Navy Frames - Dorothy Perkins, €15

Below
Giant frames "Feeeteeeen dolla!" Chinatown, NY