Tuesday, December 9, 2008

I want you, I want you so bad.

Red shoes are sex personified. Trashy sex and a little bit of danger (not always the funnest mixture I'd imagine but you get the picture.)

They say "Yeah, check me out, bitch, you know you wanna get all up in my shoe bidness."

Fo' sho'.

These ones say, "Buy me. Buy me now or we'll walk out of here in the night, hunt you down and dance all over you until you die from it."

I say, "Back off bitches, you're from French Connection and you cost one hundred British pounds. Not only do I have no British pounds, I'm also saving all my clams for New York in January, where it's likely I'll find a pair of your sluttier cousins for half the price. Also, if I take you home now, all my other shoes will look crap and I'll want you all the time. It'll be like taking a lover - a sexy, red leather lover, and that rarely ends well.

I don't know what is about shoes that makes me talk like that. They're the sexy blonde lady to my Gordon Ramsay.


Lorna said...

I remember my first pair of red shoes, I was 17 and innocent and v shocked when a friend told me that the red shoes symbolised prostitution!!

gorgeous , gorgeous,

Manuel said...

it's fucking huge, look at it?

Jane said...

Leave those poor babies alone....they're mine, all mine I tell you, ha, ha, ha etc.

You've made me want to protect them from all that filth!

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

L- Really? That makes a lot of sense, actually.

M- You should see my feet!

J- Yours, for 100 of your finest British pounds.

Anonymous said...


I used work in Carl Scarpa and this one time we got these AMAZING red shoes in. They were red patent with leopard-print pony hair (total prozzy shoes).

They were sex.

I used to try them on all the time and just look at myself in the mirror, standing there looking stupid with my trouser legs rolled up to my knees. I'd feel so dirty afterwards.

ps - totally linking you btw

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

My MOM shops in Carl Scarpa, she's always going on about them "so comfortable, so well made blah blah blah". I always thought their shoes were a bit.. normal, but now...?!
Substitute Carl Scarpa for my house and trousers for pyjama pants and I'm you, really.

I'm very much liking your blog too, reciprocal links a-go-go!

Anonymous said...


Oh and that was the only pair of shoes I ever almost bought there(not counting the work shoes that we HAVE to buy). On the whole, they're pretty blah.