Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Put a cake in it.


Well, this is just disgustingly cute.
I've been looking at it now for about two hours and thinking about how cake is potentially the happiest food there is. You never have cake to mark the bad stuff, there's no funeral cake or unemployment cake, no cake for when someone runs into the back of your car or for when you get a passive aggressive email from your boss, there's no cancer confectionery. Cakes are exclusively for the good times.

Everyone seems to be in a shitty mood today, it's all "I'm so lonely around the holidays" and "I miss sausages" and "Woe! The recession".

For crying out loud. Man up, bitches. All this wallowing is royally harshing my buzz.

It really could be a whole lot worse. You could be dead. DEAD! But you're not, you're here, boring everyone to tears with your non-problems and talking on the phone to your stupid buddies at rugby match volume, despite the conversation we had about using your 'inside voice'.
Have a mince pie and shut the fuck up!

Fairy Cake Door Mat, £15.95, DotComGiftShop

2 comments:

Profoundly Superficial said...

Cake is associated with bad times in Holland. You get presented with slices of the stuff at funerals. In fact, some enterprising funeral insurance company came up with the slogan "Is there cake after death?" to try persuade people to take out more expensive policies.

The Sexy Pedestrian said...

Ha! Fantastic! Funnily enough I was thinking it was a bit of a shame there's no cake at funerals, I can think of some fabulous novelty designs, there's coffins, crucifixes, dead bodies...