Attention festivalgoers

Dita keeps it all kinds of cool at Coachella. Seriously, how easy does she make this look? I always have the best intentions of looking like the embodiment of Kate Moss at festivals, but by 4am I'm the one wearing my boyfriend's hoodie and wishing I'd brought warm jeans instead of four rara skirts.

Pic from Perezhilton.com

A-okay!

The sales are blowing me away lately. I know it's slaughtering the economy and putting clothing store employees out of jobs, but on the plus side I get stuff I want for half the price I'd have paid last year. Case in point - this Awear beaded smock, I was all set to pay the €40-€50 it was priced at the last time I saw it, but when I went to pick it up it had been reduced to €15! Glee for me!

I don't get it

This is the €12 sellout shoe that has become the fastest selling item in Primark/Penney's history. The candy pink version (the one pictured is the red, for the colour blind among you) is being hawked on eBay at twice the price. Some bitches be trippin'.

One seller describes the shoe as "A MUST-HAVE ACCESSORY FOR CLUBBING & FUN FILLED NIGHTS".

I think that says it all.

If happy were a textile

... it'd be purple plastic.




You can't put a price on happiness, but if I had to, I'd say €3.
Purple plastic jelly shoes, €3, Penney's.

Also available in a criminally fabulous grey and an insanely wearable white.




They remind me of these, Tory Burch Reva flats, €86, Net-a-Porter

Water disaster

I'm so over winter. I'm actually starting to feel really hard done by because the weather is so bad. I stopped wearing Uggs to try and get myself into the season, but all I've got in return is wet toes and guess what? It fucking sucks, that's what.

Then I saw this, which made me feel simultaneously better and worse. By the time I've done the smart thing and saved for it, the god damn weather better have improved.
Either way, I'll be wearing this, frolicking on a sun lounger and telling everyone who'll listen how fabulously tranquil St. Tropez is now that the banks have stopped giving holiday money to poor people.


Maxi-dress by Totem from Asos.com £83.97.

Fail safe

Black biker jacket with bow detail - - add a floral summer dress for instant dirty cool, €28.48 from TKMaxx.

I was in here on Saturday and met three ex-colleagues - everyone's after the bargains these days. One of them, shopping with his 12-year-old son, was wearing a green diamante earring. Green diamante. A midlife crisis of epic proportions, I didn't know where to look.

Chit-chatting while surrounded by discounted knickers and soft furnishings is odd, but mid-recession conversation I did note that TKMaxx are to be applauded for their selection of tights - great colours starting at around €5.99, an easy way to brighten up any outfit for less than a tenner.

Resistance eroding

Penney's is on freaking fire this season, those Indian children must be working overtime to get these babies on shelves for the end of May. Neon yellow, bandage, bodycon - if you can fit into it (and if you trade breakfast and lunch for a cigarette and an espresso, I believe you can), then you should. This is a photograph you're going to want to show your gran kids.

"Nan! Who's the hot bitch in the neon bodycon?"

"Me dear, that's me."

Neon. It's comin' to get ya.

€15, Penney's.

Vote Pedestrian!

Quality deskage - keep it neat people!

Told ya so!

Ass has been back since February.

Style finally agrees!

Too right, mate

Melbourne goes nuts for Vanilla Ice...