Oatally uninspired title

You know what's nice once you have it in front of you? Porridge, that's what. I'm eating Aldi Instant Oat Cereal in Golden Syrup flavour, which is far superior to Aldi Instant Oat Cereal in Oat flavour, in case you find yourself in Aldi in a flavour panic.

I've been drinking a lot of water, almost the recommended two litres a day in fact. This stuff really works, my skin is really clear but it's tough going. It was never going to be as nice as wine, but at least after two litres of wine you'd do a party dance, lose a shoe and pass out. After two litres of water you feel like you're drowning internally and the mood benefits are zero, unless you're particularly turned on by 'hydration'.

In other numbingly yawnsome news, Glamour has released their fairly uninspired pick of the 35 women most likely to become (still with me?) '2009's Agyness Deyn'.

It only took me a month to get over 2008's Agyness Deyn, who was Agyness Deyn herself, so what chance do these poor sparkly lambs have?

Katy Perry, Zooey Deschanel, and - get this - Michelle Obama all make the list. Katy Perry is a clown. I was hoping she'd have gone away by now, but she's still there, stomping around with her baby voice and permanently stupefied expression.

I decided on this picture of a clown today. This is because (a) you never really see clowns during the week (b) clowns are more interesting to look at than Katy Perry and/or porridge.